The Hermetic Hipster's Guide to: The Traditions

From the introduction:

A guide to The Nine Mystic Traditions
...
He woke up late, groggily groping for his phone on the bedside table, then flinched as the bright screen activated, glaring a time much later than most of his disciplined Order would greet the day. Moaning after seeing the time, as if late for some event, he still began scrolling through various apps and social media updates, letting the last memories of sleep evaporate in the harsh light of a news feed.