From publisher blurb:
Kicked out of home at the cruelly young age of 60, you're left to fend for yourself in the wilds surrounding Bilgeton. You are the Bastard Elf: embark on an epic quest in search of your human father and his fabled couch upon which you might crash, or blow that off as soon as something better comes along. Can you survive in this strange and vicious fantasy realm?
The Sword of the Bastard Elf is an epic single player gamebook adventure of ludicrous size and scope. It's more than 350,000 words long with 1825 sections to jump around and more than 100 original illustrations to gaze at (in your choice of full colour or black and white line art). It also includes a beer and pretzels role playing game for a "Dungeon Bastard" and up to four players, and an introductory scenario to get you started.
Featuring writing by the weird and enigmatic Herman Skull, illustrations by the humble and enigmatic S. Iacob and a never-before-seen illustration by fantasy art legend Tony Hough (Fighting Fantasy illustrator for Spectral Stalkers, Night Dragon, Knights of Doom and Bloodbones), there's a lot of entertainment right here! It's certainly not a gamebook you'll get to see all of in a single sitting, or probably even ten sittings, with plenty of different ways to get to your goal, or die somewhere outside being eaten by something horrible. However you go out you're guaranteed to have a good time doing it, as every page drips with a combination of black and very low-brow humour.
A lot of love has gone into this tome. You'll notice the PDF is hyperlinked so you can click your choices to go to the page number you want, and the 170+ items are illustrated and listed in the back of the book for your item-hoarding convenience. There are multiple print versions so you can pick the experience you want: an old-school black and white soft cover book with chunky line art, or an insanely heavy hardcover book in full colour. All versions have the same berserk quests, the same brutal and weird humour and the same goldbrick of an elf to guide about a world that is thoroughly uninterested in his continued survival.
Warning: This is not for little kids! While there's nothing overtly sexual or extremely horrible going on here there are some very weird characters, something called a phalloknight, lots of codpieces, an unpleasant dragon and some violent situations which could put anything younger than a teenager off gamebooks forever. Also they won't get the really good jokes.