Winter Noir

From the introduction:

Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul,

With a corncob pipe and a button nose,

And two eyes made out of coal.

...

Frosty is a glory hound and a motherfucking liar. He wasn’t the first and was by no means the last snowman to come to life. Just the only one to be so fucking obvious about it that the humans still sing that obnoxious song. And that shabby damn hat isn’t magical. Of course, he’d tell you that it’s the style of the tale rather than the truth of it that counts, but if you’re willing to go along with that then I pray you never cross paths with the icemen.