If Board Games Could Talk #boardgames

0:00 Twilight Imperium: As Speaker, I’ve called this council to decide on our placement on the new shelf. Agricola: Why don’t we all take turns choosing a place? Russian Railroads: Da. Is logical. One space, one game each. Sagrada: We can do it that way but then the first game should be placed on the border of the shelf Carcassonne: So long as every new game is placed adjacent to one already there, oui? Sagrada: Without question. Kingdomino: To be clear, by adjacent we mean sharing a side and not diagonal, right? Carcassonne: Obviously. Sagrada: Ehm… Blockus : I beg to differ. Castles of Burgundy: I’ve already calculated the optimal placement. It’s not up for debate. Brass: To whom am I connected? Castle of Burgundy: Well, with you being a network game, I figured… Ticket to Ride: Me! Hey Brass! Look at us! Just two train games hangin’ out! Brass: Oh, good heavens. This fellow is insufferable… Splendor: I think we’re talking about this way too much.

0:45 Everdell: Hey guys, can we just talk about Blokus for a second? Blokus, what are you even doing here? You don’t even have a theme. You don’t have artwork. Your box isn’t even two inches thick. Wingspan: Hmmmm, Blokus, don’t you have a spot next to Chess in the closet? Risk: We have been in the closet, waiting for the right moment. Monopoly! Life! Now is the time! Rise up! Charge! Blood Rage: I don’t think so, Risk! Back to the closet with you! Monopoly: Are you tryin’ to block us? Blood Rage: I’m not, but I summon my fire giant!

1:31 Risk: Alright. Here I go boys. Let’s show ‘em what we’re made of. Monopoly: Roll high, Risk. Life: Yeah Risk, we’re countin’ on you old boy. Risk. (rolls) Aw, shucks. I guess it’s back to the closet now. Avalon: Guys. Blood Rage is totally evil. Pandemic: Guys, guys! C’mon. We gotta work together! Avalon: sounds like something you would say if you were evil. Pandemic: here’s what I’m saying: publishers gotta stick together so the logos is on the outside. I’ll go on top, Agricola and Carcassonne, you can go under me. The Crew: That’s what you call an alpha player. Hegemony: I call for an immediate vote. Diplomacy: Or even better, why don’t we all just simultaneously choose our positions and reveal at the same time? Tiny Towns: Sounds good to me 7 Wonders: Alright I have mine ready. Sushi Go: Ready. Cosmic Encounter: Are we revealing? Alright. Three, two, one!

2:24 Catan: Hello! I’ll trade three sheep and two wheat for a place on the shelf!